Selasa, 19 Januari 2038

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$ex and Love Abroad

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You're two weeks into your summer abroad, minding your own business, when an interesting human specimen crosses your path. If you're smart, you already know enough of the other person's native tongue so that an invitation to coffee won't get you into trouble for proposing an unspeakable act with a hand trowel and an alligator. But whether it's almost as shocking just to propose a coffee date is something that you shouldn't guess about.
The fact is that $ex and love are problematic in every culture, but how they are problematic varies greatly from country to country. And when you throw in linguistic challenges, the potential for disappointment or disaster goes off the charts.
However different the culture is, certain elementary rules of safety are always in order:
• Tell someone you trust where you are going and when you expect to return.
• Try to figure out in advance how you can get back. Take whatever contact numbers and coins you need to make a call or use public transportation in case you end up stranded somewhere.
• Go out in groups, at least until you've really gotten to know the person you're interested in.
• Be aware of how much you drink, and try to designate someone in the group to keep track of everybody.
Think about your own limitations and boundaries before you go out, so that you can enforce them in a few short words: No, we are not going back to my hotel room. Yes, let's go on a picnic. Practice saying no in several different ways. Decide what elements would have to be included in an activity for you to agree to it.
"You may end up making a mistake and embarrassing yourself, but that happens no matter what you're doing abroad," says Raphael. "If it has to do with your safety, then that should come first."


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